Home Improvement

--------------- Forwarded Message ---------------



From: 	Lincoln Rd. McHenry, IL, 71222,645

To: 	FetterNet

Date: 	Fri, Sep 16, 1994, 7:58



RE: 	Home Improvement ---





                        Home Improvement



        It was the fall of 1965. Our family had lived in Doc Purcell's

house since 1962. We had outgrown our first Griffith house, the 3 bedroom

brick bungalow at 734 N. Renseller. The Purcell house was a bigger older

house set in the original "center section" of town. It had been built by

a member of the Miller family sometime shortly after "The Great War",

which is what they called World War 1 before World War Dos came along.

Too bad it lost it's original nickname. The Miller family was one of

Griffith's founding clans and they have the street named after them to

prove it - Miller Street! The Miller house located at the corner of

Lafayette and Elm was a nice size home with 3 bedrooms upstairs and a

full basement complete with two fruit cellars and lots of open area. Doc

Purcell had built a couple of bedrooms into the east section of the

basement. My parents had moved up from a three bedroom house to a fiver.

Plenty of room for them and their eight sons.



        There was one major drawback to buying a house built so close to

the days of outdoor plumbing. I think that when mankind moved out of the

"outhouse" and into the "water closet" they were so excited about the step

up, no one considered a need for more than one "water closet" per house. By

1965 our family of 8 young boys was changing into a family of some young

boys and an increasing number of teenage boys. Teenage boys wanting more

than one bath a week on Saturday night. Teenage boys needing the time

before a mirror to primp the hair and battle the acne before heading into

the kennels of puppy love, better known as Jr. High and High School. So in

September of 1965 our parents announced that we were about to embark on a

major home improvement that would result in a bathroom in the basement

complete with a walk in shower. "A walk in shower?" "Hallelujah! 20th

century here we come!"



        Our construction manager for the project was longtime family

friend, Jim Paul. Jim was not only one of the world's "All Time Nice

Guys", he was also the complete antithesis of our father when it came to

building acumen. Rating their skill level on a scale of 10, my dad was

a solid negative 3 and Jim was a perfect 10 across the board. Trained as a

plumber, in our eyes he was the Michealangelo of the hammer and nail

crowd.



        The general plan involved saving as much cash on this project as

possible. That meant that the bulk of the labor force was going to come

from the "gang of eight" who were dependent upon KG and Dolores for room

and board. Like the Pharoahs of Egypt or the Emperors of Rome, KG had a

captive crew to build his empire. He also benefited from commencing this

project before the Federal Government created OHSA (Occupational Health and

Safety Agency). Let's just say some child labor laws were violated along

with a blanket disregard for safety, i.e. sledge hammering a trench in

the basement concrete sans safety goggles. But hey, it was a less

complicated world back then.



        I was a perfect specimen for the home improvement project of '65. I

had a large enough body to do some serious work, at the same time I was

gullible enough to be "Tom Sawyered" by KG. He could always get me to jump

in by wondering out loud, "Gee Craig, do you think that you're old enough

to break concrete and dig sand?"



        The bulk of the work involved trenching a path from the northeast

corner of the basement to the middle of the basement and joining that

trench with a trench running to the new bathroom area in the northwest

corner of the basement. It was a big "Y" that we had to get ready for the

plumbing pipes. The final bit of the project was connecting this new "Y"

with the city plumbing which came into the house from Lake Street.

Basically we spent the next couple of months whacking out the concrete,

moving the concrete chunks to a corner of the basement, then when that pile

got so high we moved the pile outside the back door, and when that pile got

so high we moved it to the back of the lot. When you have a captive labor

force you do not have to work efficiently. Like Bishop Sheen always said,

"Idle hands are the Devil's tools."



        The weeks turned to months and during holiday season our family

project neared completion. The new bathroom was walled in, the fixtures

were set in place, the trenches were all dug and the pipe laid. The final

piece of the puzzle was ready to be placed. Jim Paul, plumber savant, was

going to join our new pipes with the outside line running to the city

system. East would be meeting west. This was my families' Promontory Point,

and this coolie was not going to miss one moment of it.



        We would drive our version of the "golden spike" on Saturday night.

There we were, KG, Jim Paul and myself, standing over the small black

caulron. Jim was melting down lead ingots and then was pouring the molten

lead into the pipe fittings sealing them for the ages. We were mixing up

another batch of liquid lead, when a visiting dignitary, Vic Smith, stopped

by to take in the festivities. Vic, KG's best friend, was on his way to a

company Christmas party and he was sporting a brand spanking new top coat.

We all looked up and stopped to talk with Vic for a spell.



        "Hey, Vic! How you doing! Yuk..yuk... Jim's a genius. Don't it look

great. Yuk...yuk... Yeah, lots of work. It was worth it. Yuk...yuk...

Going to a par......." Then it happened --- There was a sharp, pop! Jim

Paul screeched and started jumping around like a mad monkey. I heard these

hissing sounds,"sss...ssszzz ...sss...ssszzz...sss....ssszzz." I looked up

and tens of tiny holes were being burned into Vic's new topcoat. Well,

Klutz (KG) and son of Klutz (me), just stood there stupified with a big,

"wha' happen'" look on our faces. Jim was still trying to soothe his

Olympic class hot foot. Vic, just shook his head and turned up the stairs.

He knew he should not have entered a KG construction zone. And being a

chemist, by trade, he knew exactly "wha' happened".



        While we were yukking it up, a thin skin had formed at the

top of the molten lead. KG had nonchalantly dropped another small lead

ingot into the cauldron and when it hit the lead skin tiny beads of molten

lead shot out into the basement sky. As it so often happens the innocent

are the victims of such random destruction. The hot lead went right for

Jim's foot and seemed to be attracted to Vic's coat like moths to a light

bulb. Me and KG stood in the middle of it all, not even knowing what

was happening. Go figure.



        We all thought that it was a fitting end to the Home Improvement

project. Even though Jim Paul had been the general foreman of the whole

thing, it was afterall a Gerdes undertaking. With the fiasco at the end, our    

Dad, the great KG, had finally placed his unique stamp on the whole affair.